MARCHING ON

 During my time waiting to go back into the hospital, my kids came and visited me for four days . It was so good to see them , especially since I knew I wouldn't be home for Christmas , my first one without them . When it was time for them to go , I bawled my eyes out . It's not something I do , but a lot had changed at that point .

I kept going for long walks , knowing that the weather would get shitty soon enough . I discouraged anyone coming to visit from out of town , mainly because things could change from one day to the next , and I'd hate for anyone to come all the way from Victoria to Vancouver only to have me say that I was too sick or just tired , but I had some great people in town who were unwavering with their optimism and support for me , and of course my sister was always there .

Now take a moment and listen to Public Enemy's Muse Sick 'N' Hour Mess Age .  I love this album , and my cassette from 1994 still plays beautifully .

Good day to you .

JUST LISTENING

 In between errands today , I found time to listen to Southside Johnny & The Ashbury Jukes , and

also James Brown , specifically the greatest hits CD. Get into it .

DELAY AND NEAR ESCAPE

 After being out of the hospital doing outpatient treatment for a month, I was supposed to go back in in early September for harder chemo and my Bone Marrow Transplant . In preparation for this , I needed to have a lumbar puncture , another bone marrow biopsy , and have four teeth extracted , all of which I had done the week leading up to my supposed readmission . Honestly , I wouldn't wish it on anyone . After each thing , the doctor would tell me how well I did , and I was always surprised. I've got an okay threshold for pain , but inside I was not taking it easy . 

And then I got a phone call saying there " donor issues " and my readmission wasn't to be until closer to the end of September . I was fucking livid, especially considering the torture I'd just been through . I ended up asking a doctor what would happen if I just went home and didn't complete the rest of it . He told me it was almost certain the leukemia would come back . No escape for me .

One thing I should mention is the tremendous outpouring of support I received from everyone involved in the Victoria music scene . I helped lift my spirits incredibly . I don't know where I'd be without Scott B. starting that GoFundMe on my behalf , and also all of my co-workers at Cool Aid being so supportive . And of course my sister , without whom I wouldn't have made it .

To be continued....

TODAY'S MUSIC

Today I've been listening to Diana Ross & The Supremes Greatest Hits ,  

and also The Ripcordz " Hey Jerkwad..."  LP , plus Touche Amore's " Lament " LP .

It's been a great day of music so far .

MOMENT OF TRUTH

On the playlist today was Gang Starr's Moment Of Truth   , and also the Hung Up album . All great stuff.

THE CHALLENGE OF WALKING

 Once I was discharged from the hospital, we stayed at The Cancer Lodge , which is like a hotel/hostel for patients and their caregivers. It was decent enough , and food was included . So I started pushing myself to start goin for walks. The first few were difficult , like trying to push a huge boulder up a hill, but they started to get easier as time went on . It helps that I love summer , so my walks got to the point where I'd be moving for 4 hours sometimes, right through downtown Vancouver , through the East Hastings hell , and back . I wanted to see the mural painted for Ashtrey , and ended up walking past it several times . Ashtrey . He was a great person.

DRUGS AND HALLUCINATIONS

 Since I had to stay in the hospital an extra month , they had also decided to put me on extra meds to help with the foot healing . One of the side effects was one of these meds made me hallucinate like crazy . The nurses even said they could hear me talking and sometimes laughing when I was completely alone in my room . It seemed so real . One time I thought my kids were in the hospital at three am , so i was desperately looking for some cash in my belongings so I could give them money for a hotel ! Of course they weren't there . I would talk to people who would suddenly get up and disappear . There is much much more . Suffice it to say I've never experienced anything like that in my entire life.