DELAY AND NEAR ESCAPE

 After being out of the hospital doing outpatient treatment for a month, I was supposed to go back in in early September for harder chemo and my Bone Marrow Transplant . In preparation for this , I needed to have a lumbar puncture , another bone marrow biopsy , and have four teeth extracted , all of which I had done the week leading up to my supposed readmission . Honestly , I wouldn't wish it on anyone . After each thing , the doctor would tell me how well I did , and I was always surprised. I've got an okay threshold for pain , but inside I was not taking it easy . 

And then I got a phone call saying there " donor issues " and my readmission wasn't to be until closer to the end of September . I was fucking livid, especially considering the torture I'd just been through . I ended up asking a doctor what would happen if I just went home and didn't complete the rest of it . He told me it was almost certain the leukemia would come back . No escape for me .

One thing I should mention is the tremendous outpouring of support I received from everyone involved in the Victoria music scene . I helped lift my spirits incredibly . I don't know where I'd be without Scott B. starting that GoFundMe on my behalf , and also all of my co-workers at Cool Aid being so supportive . And of course my sister , without whom I wouldn't have made it .

To be continued....

TODAY'S MUSIC

Today I've been listening to Diana Ross & The Supremes Greatest Hits ,  

and also The Ripcordz " Hey Jerkwad..."  LP , plus Touche Amore's " Lament " LP .

It's been a great day of music so far .

MOMENT OF TRUTH

On the playlist today was Gang Starr's Moment Of Truth   , and also the Hung Up album . All great stuff.

THE CHALLENGE OF WALKING

 Once I was discharged from the hospital, we stayed at The Cancer Lodge , which is like a hotel/hostel for patients and their caregivers. It was decent enough , and food was included . So I started pushing myself to start goin for walks. The first few were difficult , like trying to push a huge boulder up a hill, but they started to get easier as time went on . It helps that I love summer , so my walks got to the point where I'd be moving for 4 hours sometimes, right through downtown Vancouver , through the East Hastings hell , and back . I wanted to see the mural painted for Ashtrey , and ended up walking past it several times . Ashtrey . He was a great person.

DRUGS AND HALLUCINATIONS

 Since I had to stay in the hospital an extra month , they had also decided to put me on extra meds to help with the foot healing . One of the side effects was one of these meds made me hallucinate like crazy . The nurses even said they could hear me talking and sometimes laughing when I was completely alone in my room . It seemed so real . One time I thought my kids were in the hospital at three am , so i was desperately looking for some cash in my belongings so I could give them money for a hotel ! Of course they weren't there . I would talk to people who would suddenly get up and disappear . There is much much more . Suffice it to say I've never experienced anything like that in my entire life. 

BEFORE I EVEN START

 Before I even begin with my story of illness, I need to say that the fascist state of israel's " pre-emptive " strike on Iran is nothing but an amerikkkan backed lie , the same way that killing 72,000 Palestinians and burying children under rubble is " self-defense" . Fascist lies from start to finish , but they'll get away with it because they have amerikkka's backing . Murderous scumbags .

OL' FOUR TOED JIM

 Once my foot got infected ( my immune system was beaten to shit by the chemo ) , it grew to twice it's normal size , especially the second toe , and that toe had some kinda black crusty shit on it . Three different doctors had come in to say that the thing was going to be removed , until someone called for the specialty Wound Care Nurse , who started scraping the black stuff off. It fucking hurt like crazy , so they started giving me dilaudid and even fentanyl every time she was coming around to torture me , but I am so grateful she did . She saved my toe . It was fucking excruciatingly painful , and there were months of followup , but she saved my toe when others said it had to go . It meant an extra month in the hospital .